What is our responsibility to ensure the veracity of what we forward?

Joel Wollin Lindsay Lohan,24, all over the news because she's acelebrity drug addict. WhileJustin Allen, 23, Brett Linley, 29, Matthew Weikert, 29, JustusBartett, 27, Dave Santos, 21, Chase Stanley, 21, Jesse Reed, 26,Matthew Johnson, 21, Zachary Fisher, 24, Brandon King, 23, ChristopherGoeke, 23, & Sheldon Tate, 27, are U.S. Marines that gave theirlives this week. No media coverage. Honor THEM by reposting.

Sunday at 12:40pm · Comment ·  · Share

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  Debi Olson likes this.
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    Carol Ann Jungbauer Lovaas I will! Thanks!
    

    Sunday at 8:10pm · 

I hate to be the jerk about this, but...as much as I understand and support the feeling behind the idea that our country's soldiers and Marines (and honest police and firefighters, teachers, et al) should always get the honor and attention they earn and deserve, especially when compared to shits and quitters like Sarah and Lindsay and Paris...the list of men noted on the original message were not all Marines, one wasn't even an American. Not that it should matter, but most were Army guys and all were casualties in Afghanistan and Iraq in July/August 2010.

What got me curious was, firstly) the fact that a certain someone who thinks facts and data are malleable toys to be shaped into whatever we need had copied and forwarded something without back checking the sources, and secondly) one of the names, Weikert, is an Army guy. Tertiary, I couldn't recall any recent event in which 8 Marines had been killed at a time, as what happens when Chinooks/Jolly Green Giants go down.

The moral of the story? I don't know, because the basic message doesn't change in that our society's obsession with Hollywood transcends all other pursuits. Look at OJ, look at Michael the pedophile Jackson, etc. But that doesn't mean we can just paste a bunch of names and label them as something sacrosanct, and run the group in order to make a guilty plea against "the leftist" media. FWIW, the VERY FIRST instance of this particular "group of Marines" came from a pro-Gun, Right-wing forum that includes derogatory quotes about the President and the "liberal media" and my personal favorite--"using ammo on libtards"... nice, patriotic message there, Duke.

Admittedly, I have mixed feelings about this issue. But I do know that the soldier's combat death (Weikert) was reported in our regional media for several days including in-depth interviews with his high school teachers, former bosses, family members, friends, et al.  As it always has been when we lose someone close to us by relation or by vicinity, locals look after themselves all over America regardless of what the mainstream media finds fascinating, like Ms. Lohan's talent, beauty, poor parenting, and drug addiction.

It may be macabre, but I like to read about the foreshortened lives of the brave sons of bitches who ran toward the gunfire in order to protect their buddies and hopefully dispatch some terrorists at the same time. But what I'm NOT conflicted about is WHAT I choose to watch/read. What kind of real Libertarian would deign to tell ANYONE what we should or should not be consuming? (VQ, you are not the target here) A TRUE Libertarian would let the consumer decide for him or herself what needs to be consumed and let the market chips fall where they may. Got that Mr. JW?

BTW, for anyone who gives a shit despite the abhorrent choices of the American TV viewer, on 8-07-2010, SPC Faith R. Hinkley, of the 502nd MI BN, 201st MI Surveillance Group(?), from Joint Base McChord-Lewis, WA, was killed when her unit was attacked by insurgents in Baghdad. My editorial note includes the fact that that was the same day combat units were withdrawn from the country.

Ms. Hinkley was 23 years old. Raise your hand if you have ever been assigned to the 502nd MI BN at Ft. Lewis. Hats off to one of our own. For real this time and not because someone's trying to prove something about themselves that we already know.

XOXO-Ernst Wolfgang

Our priorities need a revisit, perhaps

Thanks to Paul McGraw for helping me out when my Android needed a PC/Mac friend. Y'all need to read this article. Other articles from other affected areas around the country (Fayatteville, NC; Boulder, CO; Jacksonville, NC; Ft. Benning, GA; Ft. Drum, NY) are reporting similar spikes in suicides, attempts, spousal abuse, DUIs, civilian crime, etc, once these combat units return for good. A very good movie called "The Valley of Ellah" addressed this very issue but the country wasn't ready to listen, but it better had but soon.

Even our 12 million coming out of uniform following WWII got better community support than what we're doing for a lot of these heroes. Of course, back then it was OK to drink too much, weave home and beat your wife (up to a point) because that was the Golden Era of the Greatest Generation when white men ran things and women and minorities "knew their place."

The one good thing I've heard they are doing is setting up Veteran's Courts that will specifically address PTSD and other delayed or Acute Stress Syndrome problems that manifest in violent outbursts accompanied by dissassociative patterns in which the veteran does not remember doing the things he's being charged with, sometimes including the murder of family members like his children and grandparents.

And I want every one of you ignorant bastards who supported the adventure in Iraq but didn't support a draft that evolved into multiple urban warfare rotations to remember what Uncle JR warned you of at the time, especially those of you VA workers who can't recognize the irony of your paycheck while you rail at the "federal government", you dipshits.

What? You don't remember? And a few of you are now in management and still not veterans. How convenient. And weak. Let's be sure to beat back those "revenue" initiatives to treat our wounded veterans, ok? And DAMN that socialized medicine dispensed at the VAMC. That would suck if that AWFUL system were to break down, huh?

OK, it's officially a rant. I have a REALLY good idea for our country for the next 200-300 years: do whatever we can to avoid foreign conflict and entanglement. While our local "patriots" jabber all day about "outlays" and "funding requirements" (translation: your tax $$$), we should pay close attention to where we spend our money, to whom, AND WHY!  Perhaps we should stay the hell outta everyone else's business whenever possible. Granted, the invasion into Afghanistan to rid the world of the Taliban and al-Qaeda was necessary; however, how required was the invasion of and drive into Iraq? Especially given the fact that we essentially LEFT Afghanistan and allowed the the Taliban to re-arm and re-train in NW Pakistan, which is largely lawless and and an al-Qaeda enclave.  

Remember W's bombast about "fighting them over there so we don't hafta fight over here"? In case you didn't now, that program included shipping PALLETS FULL of CASH to local Sunni and Shi'a leaders and begging them not to fight each other or our forces. How dignified. May it have worked? I hope so, I truly do. But get them to admit to it first so we can have a baseline from which to begin an assessment of the program. Good luck on that.

Yesterday, my son, who is currently assigned to an honor guard section at a midwestern Air Force Base, had to conduct the funeral of a 25-year/old EOD sergeant who was killed doing his job in Afghanistan. The investigation of the incident is on-going, but what a waste of a young life. If only we had remained focused on the task at hand instead of treating the 9/11 attacks as a broadside against the Christian-secular world of finance and materialism by Islam as a religion; tragically, we have have willfully chosen to mistake the brilliantly simple plan to disrupt our pathetic, consumer driven lives by a few dozen, a few hundred at most, extremist radical jihadists as a master plot to overthrow, what, international commerce in an effort to drive us back into the stone age.

Why do we have this awful propensity to over-react to this stuff? Are our enemies dangerous? Hell, yes they are. That's why the National Security Agency has an unpublished, top secret budget. That's why 5-weeks before 9/11 George W. Bush was delivered, in an oddly prescient manner prior to Katrina as well, an in ironically named intel briefing entitled something like "Bin Laden to Fly Planes Into Buildings." So much for utilizing your experts on the ground, many of whom had warned that "something huge" was about to happen. Could it have been prevented? Who nows, but what part are we talking about? The initial 4 planes, probably not unless the FBI and CIA had corroborated better on who was in the country and where they were. But the horrible mess that resulted from the juvenile hysteria that ensued was an embarrassment for the entire world to see.

If this country is to remain solvent and capable directing it's own affairs, it must learn restraint. And tolerance. Maybe there's a "How to Be a SuperPower for Dummies" book. We need it. Now.    

Here we go again...

Am I a tourist? Or a vagrant?

There is no rhyme or reason, or is it no rime or season reason? Do you see the photograph to the left of this text? What do you see? Be honest, if you didn't know me from Adam, what would your first impression be? I'm powering my way through the mental fog created by the improbable combination of topiramate, opana, cyclobenzaprine, diazepam, duloxetine, lithium, and fentanyl.

And this is just SOME of the stuff I take at night.
And I didn't include the stuff for my blood lipids, the severe GI problems associated with chronic opiate use, blahblahblah, ...




Today, I met with my therapist for the first time in quite a while, at least for me, though our last meeting was canceled by a horrible URI/cold that floored me for a week. She--the therapist, not the URI--noticed immediately that I have lost some weight. Normally, that gives the morbidly obese a mood lift but this time, it hasn't meant that much to me, probably because I'm "husky" and "broad-shouldered", not morbidly obese.

I still feel a bit self conscious when I solve a crossword clue that spells "o-b-e-s-e", as if simple acknowledgment is surrendering my dignity despite the fact that most of my life has been a battle against genetics, low birth weight, eating more than I should, and eating crap as well as eating for the wrong reasons. Thank GOD for socialized medicine and Shari'a Law to dispense it, huh? Imagine the mess we'd be in were it not for for those two godsends. AS I WAS SAYING...

There are times when I'm motivated to "do something", if not for me then for my wife and kids. For whatever reason(s), I can't sustain the effort. It's easier and more legitimate to blame it on my back and leg pain, but today's conversation with Kristin (the Therapist) forced a realization upon me. Imagine this is you--suspend reality if you have to--just do it: in the usually futile effort to appear youthful and strong and virile to my young, vibrant wife, I occasionally clean up by cutting my hair and trimming my beard. I even flossed my teeth, an activity I eschew for nor no discernible reason.

When revealing these intimate details to the therapist, it struck me that I had literally not looked at myself in the mirror for months. And that fact, not that I was ever a looker, is a sad indicator of the state of my mind. Kristen "suggested", as is her wont, that my unkempt appearance was a non-verbal way for me to tell my peeps that "The Abyss"* is edging closer. Upon reflection, her "suggestion", as usual, is spot-on.

*--The Abyss is my depiction of the Hell that is Depression, a deep, dark, scary hole that has the capability to swallow one whole. It's a one-way trip, there is no return once you've tripped over the edge.  The trick is to know where you are in relation to It. Since this "trip" started 6 or years ago, It has surprised me in its tenacity and stealth. I never thought I was the "type".  Now we know.  

One time, in a picque of frustration at my shameful appearance (and it was really bad), Elle described me as looking "homeless", a phrase she regrets now because no matter how true it may have been, just like my odd aloofness with "obese", I felt as if I was a dollar value on The Wheel of Fortune and someone had started spinning looking to buy "an S". I was so disoriented that I desperately wanted to vomit and disappear at the same time.

In my mind's eye, never the most objective arbiter of one's appearance, I thought it was embarrassing for my family to be seen with or near me, and not just because one of them happened to be a teenager at the time. I pictured Saddam Hussein waiting in the carpool lane, gnats and flies buzzing around me, as the schmoops who, comfortably ensconced in their Mercedes and BMW SUVs, largely inhabit our son's elementary school, assassinate my character and judge my son and wife unfairly because I looked like some Special Forces soldiers just pulled me out of a spider hole.

But in a more serious note, I honestly thought I was doing "ok" until I recognized the warning signs, the first being my sister's nearly daily appearance. Silly me, I thought she was fleeing her own demons and poor A/C system, but now I know she was keeping tabs on me. The second sign was the picture shown above. It was taken while awaiting my brother and (step-)daughter's return from their parasailing trip on Clearwater Beach. I had a good time re-visiting my old stomping grounds, even having time to see some very close friends from the Army (Tina Heaton Aultman) and high school (Vicki Geoghagen Cyr), both of who are doing wonderfully.

I couldn't do much on the beach because of my back but the kids had a good time, I got to see my brother who lives in Tampa (Ross), and we had some scrumptious food. Even the flying didn't bother nearly as much as it normally does; nevertheless, one glance at that picture tells me that I was depressed despite my attempts to put on a game face if for no other reason to make sure everyone else had a good time, especially my Elle because of her demanding, stressful job (and husband).

I finally broke down when I related to Kristin what happened when Elle was playing with the iPad I got her for her birthday. Before we left for dinner, I synced about 800 or so songs I thought Elle would like from my iTunes account before we left for dindin at The Cheesecake Factory. Once we returned, Elle started playing some of the music that was prominent during the time we were "dating" and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Fortunately, because of the way I was sitting and the arm of the couch was hiding me, she couldn't see that I had tears rolling down my "husky" cheeks as she played Lucinda Williams' "Car Wheels on a Gravel Road", The Dixie Chicks' "Cowboy Take Me Away", "Come to my Window" by Melissa Etheridge, "Adia" and "Building a Mystery" by Sarah McLachlan, et al.

I'll be the first to admit to getting emotional with music and, depending on the circumstances, "Taps", Beethoven's Ninth or the 2nd Movement of the iconic 5th Symphony, "Oh Daddy" by Fleetwood Mac, "Learnin' to Fly" by Tom Petty, etc, can easily bring tears to mine eyes. But those are tears of joy, a silent kudos to the sheer brilliance of the musician itself. Nota Bene: I realize everyone recognizes the thunderous "Dun-Dun-Dun-Duuuun. Dun-Dun-Dun-Duuun!" of the 1st movement of Bethoven's 5th Symphony, few pieces of music can match that energy or drama; however, the next time you hear it and have access to the stereo, try to listen closely to the 2nd Movement. I guarantee you will be pleasantly surprised.   

Last night, on the other hand, I was crying because I was sad. Or, better yet, sad because I was depressed. And for those of you who don't know, it's mighty frustrating when you're trying your damnedest to be happy for someone else's sake, but you can't help but control the volume or your "output" of emotion. It was my wife's birthday and I felt guilty because all I could do was loathe myself for not being strong enough for her, when it was her time to stand in the spotlight and enjoy a few moments of sunshine. And that reminds me, the most difficult song for me to hear was Sheryl Crow's "Are You Strong Enough To Be My Man",  because Lord knows I wasn't and I knew it.

My Elle has the most devastating green eyes, and this is my tribute to her for all the shit she puts up with:


ps-I Love You, my green-eyed angel, and I always will. JJvdBnx

XOXO--Ernst