CAVEAT: PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT SOME RAW AND CONTROVERSIAL LANGUAGE IS CONTAINED IN THIS ARTICLE. FOR ANYONE WHO WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS THAT I WOULD NEVER USE THIS LANGUAGE. I APOLOGIZE BUT IF IT HELPS ONE PERSON LIGHT THE PATH TO BETTER UNDERSTANDING, THIS IS HOW WE CHANGE WORLD.
ERNST W.
Recently, there was a real life episode in which a "professional" joke teller pleaded his case that different meanings of the word "gay" are acceptable so long as everyone knows which one you're using. Stupid argument especially given the spate of homosexual-related killings and suicides of late. Reminds me a bit of the Human Offal that played Kosmo Kramer on "Seinfeld" when he went berserk that night on stage and started offending every black American. His million$ earned on Seinfeld gave him no more right to be offensive than the next person.
CAVEMAN!!!
We've come so far since the days we lived in caves and shit...
Closer to home, funny, but not not really: Haydon said something the other day about someone being "fat". That familiar sting rose out of my subconscience and I felt just as ashamed as I did when I was 6, 10, -(good health)-32, 38, 45, now. I just recently lost about 30-32 lbs., but it didn't help my back feel any better so I was not too ecstatic; however, on the emotional level, the words "gay", "fat", "바보" ("moron" or "idiot" in Korean, just saw a very cool Korean movie about the power of that word to motivate), "bitch", "cow"...
I do not have much training nor reading in sociology or psychology, but I suspect just about everybody has a trigger word that stings like the word "fat" surprised me, a word or phrase that conjures internal demons and lowers self-esteem that's ineffable to someone who lacks the experience and or empathy to struggle with fitting in, name calling, the terror euphemistically called "swimming", etc.
Mind you, I'm not suggesting your college roommate may secretly tape you and your obese friends eating ice cream in the dark has any of the resonance or viciousness of those sick kids at Rutgers (cut 'em some slack: they are stuck in New Jersey...sorry, bad joke).
As is my wont I have to ask the most obvious question: what motivates people, especially adults, to engage in these labeling exercises unless they have something to gain from them? Quick anecdote/Food for Thought: I've met several people over the years who decry the "PC POLICE" and wonder why it's OK "for them" to say "nigger", but "we cain't!" The very same people are the MOST offended or proud to be referred to as "rednecks" or "trailer trash". Can anyone 'splain this phenomenon to moi? ... moving on...
A good friend of mine who gained a lifetime of wisdom before he was 25, has suggested that he just shrug off the insult despite the sting and the offense to his innate sexual predilection; however, he must realize that he's made of tougher stuff than most people and "shrugging it off" may not be as easy for most people. My one brother who is gay would probably agree to a degree, but I think he's beginning to see the world in more complex patterns than he used to. I will offer this: I suspect he was not able to act on his impulses until he was well into his 20's because he was afraid of the professional and personal repercussions.
I'm not quite sure how to answer the questions at hand, but I would like mention something to the more feeble-minded of our parishioners: It's true we have the Freedom of Speech, but not all speech is free; however; ALL speech is accountable. It is my opinion that if you use words like a cudgel to batter and bash one's character until they feel cornered and having no choice but suicide, you may as well have pushed them off the bridge or shot them yourself and should be held accountable.
Those stupid kids at Rutgers who bullied that talented, bright kid to jump to his death should be held accountable for his death in the same manner as if they had called him a fag, pushed him, he hit his head on the curb, and died of a blood clot. Accidental but nevertheless accountable. And as for the "professional" joke teller, ask him if it's the same thing if we were to switch "nigger" for "gay" so long as everyone knows which one you're talking about, right?
Yeah, right. Try telling that one to the parents of the 12-year old who hanged himself after being bullied and threatened mercilessly for being "different" or the family members of the Texas man who was "skull-drug" because he was one of "those niggers".
Damn, people, as a species, is real dumb sometimes.
2 comments:
Well said. :)
While some bullies are arrogant and narcissistic, others can use bullying as a tool to conceal shame or anxiety or to boost self esteem: by demeaning others, the abuser feels empowered. In the case of gay/lesbian bashing, the quote "thou doest protest too much" is potentially the forefront of the motivation. The psychological basis of homophobia is fear of having those feelings oneself (not that theres anything wrong with that).
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